I have been trying to make some sense of the depth of what I, and many other brave women endured in Nepal while fighting for our children amidst such poverty and chaos. I am finding that my nerves cannot take a lot of stimulation anymore, that it agitates me when things are too chaotic or loud. I have never loved city noise, which is why I live in the mountains, but I think those 4 months being bombarded day and night with noise, shattered some part of me that I am only now starting to put back together. And in those long months, I lost some of my light and learnings, and fought with sheer will in order to endure the hardship of living in a place that was completely the opposite of the things I value in a place to live: tranquility, beauty, community, clean air, nature. I remember literally bracing myself mentally just to go outside for a walk, because the pollution and street noise were so overwhelming. I remember not going out at all because I just couldn't face it. I remember sleepless nights because dogs and horns would not stop to let me rest. I remember the feeling of waking up to another day in Kathmandu.
With all that behind me, and being safely home with my son, I should be on top of the World, and I am...but with a heaviness that I've been neither able to understand or shake. But slowly, as the sun's yang rays warm me inward, I feel the tension beginning to melt away, and the 'real me' beginning to reawaken. As I unravel this, I will share more.
And now for some other kinds of sharing... Look at this little boy ride his 'stryder'... such balance! Unreal!