Tuesday, October 12, 2010

If I Can't See Them Are They Really There?

One more morning left to see the Himalayas as today was a wash out.  Too much haze to see much of anything.  Nonetheless, the vistas from up here are still stunning.  Sadly I don’t have the kind of camera that can capture much of it.  Nepal is such a hill-rich country, and they aren’t wimpy little hills, I’m talking deep, steep and terraced, which I’ve always found to be particularly gorgeous. 

We had a pretty good day today, but naptime was brutal sadness, as was bedtime.  I started taking long, deep breaths while I was holding and rocking him, to just calm my own rising nerves and worry, and for some reason that shut him right up.  It made me wonder how much of this hollering is true sadness, and how much of it is Pukar being the star child at the orphanage and getting to have his way whenever he screams.  Nonetheless, I remember from my classes that this cycle of agitation followed by soothing, is a bonding cycle, and so I think in the end we are making progress.  I decided, however, two days away from Didi is enough and I’m heading back tomorrow afternoon to the orphanage, where I think we will do another night and try again.  I also think the new place thing is hard.  He had gotten used to my guest house.

We hiked, played and ate a lot, yay!  Our taxi driver saw us on the road when he was dropping off another guest so we took a little tour to the high point of Nagarkot called ‘The Tower’ and it was just as “not worth it” as the last time I saw it, but fun to go on a little trip nonetheless.  Last time I was here I had mountain biked up from Kathmandu, and was really disappointed when I rode my bike all the way up to that silly high point for no apparent reason.  I felt sorry for some older folks who were leaning on a couple of Nepali’s and who had hiked the whole way, for it’s far and up and the air is a lot thinner here.  If you ever come to Nepal, skip it, okay?  Saw some mountain bikers up here too and had a little envy I have to say.  Mountain biking all over this country is an unbelievable blast. 

On another note, my shower is this crazy box that I have to light with a gas flame in order to get hot water.  Last night I filled my rubber bucket with hot water and gave myself a luxurious pedicure.  Haha!  There’s a ‘spa’ here, but I thought better of it, and just did my own.  If you’ve ever been to a spa at a two-star hotel in Nepal, you’ll understand. 

And when I was sitting at breakfast this morning, the guide at the next table, (lots of older and/or single people here in Nepal that travel around with guides) was talking obnoxiously loud so I could easily hear him expounding on his disgust with the corruption in the adoption system here.  Why don’t these foreigners just ‘sponsor’ the children, that’s what he does, and on and on.  If you know me, you know it took a lot for me to just keep my mouth shut and smile politely when he turned to me and pretended like nothing happened.  Just to clarify, yes, there is corruption in the system.  The problem is where do you point the finger.  It’s not as simple as making the woman at the next table uncomfortable about her decision to adopt a child she felt, after her own investigating, was in need of a home.  It’s a multifaceted problem with many layers, including cultural.  And again, I will state my own feelings about this; there are children who need homes here.  It is an incredibly poor country.  Yes, poor people living in poor conditions can be happy people, but the outlook is not that great.  I feel I have something to offer, and I’m willing to offer it, and I truly believe my child is not part of corruption of any kind, other than the fact that he is born in a country that has a whole lot of internal/political ‘issues’. 


He's starting to copy my words more and I think we are beginning to have a little better understanding of one another today.   Today he was saying something to me and when I didn’t understand he grabbed my hand and placed it on his zipper; he wanted me to take his jacket off.  Very cute. 

So tomorrow, after a morning hike with a local girl I hired as a guide and to help me carry Pukar, it’s back to the pit.  Sigh.  My lungs are about 90% better but now Pukar has a cold and it’s the classic nonstop runny nose kind that you always see those little Himalaya kids  with. Sigh.  Oxygen was nice while it lasted.

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