Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Ups and Downs

Today was an up and down kind of day.  One of parents here decided that they could no longer afford to stay in Kathmandu and fight for their child so they had to put her back in the orphanage.  This is the first time this has happened and it is so, so, so sad.  I went along as I adore this particular little girl, and I wanted to visit her and take her for outings while her parents are away.  On the way to the orphanage their was a major accident and the road to get in was totally blocked and was not going to be cleared for hours.  If that's not a sign I don't know what is.  I assume she went back later but I was unable to go as I had a dinner appointment with my roommate DeeDee and a renowned Adoption MD from Boston, Dr. Laurie Miller.  (see her book at:  The Handbook of International Adoption Medicine )

She has a research project in Nepal and is here for a few weeks and agreed to have dinner with DeeDee and I (DeeDee knows her as she lives in or near Boston).  She also looked at and talked to us about our kids.   It was fascinating and wonderful.

I told her about the situation and what was going on and how I wanted to help by visiting this little girl and taking her on outings.  To my astonishment, she discouraged it.  She said it would confuse her even more.

She also said, adopted children like ours are in this phase with us, their parents, where they don't believe it's going to last; so it's like when you go on a vacation and you want to cram everything in all at once, so you don't miss anything, and you've only got five days to see all 25 sights.  That's where these kids are at...Disneyland.

She said it can take up to a year or even more for kids to finally realize that we (parents')  aren't going anywhere, and that they can relax.   They really can't understand complex concepts and have such little life experience to draw on that tells them anything about what it's like to have someone around 'forever'.

She looked at Pukar and his little legs as I have had some concerns about his bones.  She said it looked as if he may have had rickets at some point.  I will follow-up on that by making sure he gets enough calcium and vitamin D.   Along with a lot of other really interesting things, she assured us both that we had great little kids and we are very lucky.  Like we didn't know, but it's really nice to hear it from a Specialist.

It was a really unique and awesome opportunity, and Laurie is a really genuine, kind and highly skilled doctor.  As usual, a marvelous and heartbreaking day in Kathmandu.

Now for some random photos I haven't had the opportunity to post...

Naptime... his favorite book right now...just pictures and words

Pukar feeding Bina's demented doll, Chucky...we laugh hysterically about this doll all the time.

My new yoga practice

A beautiful Tika Mandala during Tihar or Diwali Festival (it is made out of colored powder!)

This beautiful Mandala is made out of powder, beans, rice and colored grains.

No comments:

Post a Comment